Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Singing in the Shower

Image courtesy of foongpc
I'm on a roll today, huh?

This week, We Write Poems wanted poets to take an earlier poem and make a revision on it of some kind.  This was actually pretty tough for me because other than wee word tweaks and an occasional phrase re-phrase, I seldom do major-league overhauls on my work. I don't mean that to sound arrogant, but because I write in rhyme and poetic form primarily, it's hard to go back and re-do older stuff.

In any event, what I did was dig through some past poetry projects (dating back several years) until I found something that I could might work in revision using a Kyrielle instead of a double Ottava Rima.

Here goes nada...

I’m All of Them

“There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.” – Josh Groban

Jon Bon Jovi, Pavarotti,
Elton John, the Great Scarlatti.
Vocally, so Maserati,
when I’m singing in the shower.

Pretenders, Beatles, Bruno Mars,
Ke$ha, Sutherland, The Cars.
Vocally, I’m with those stars,
when I’m singing in the shower.

Katy Perry and Bocelli,
Giovanni Martinelli.
Vocally, just like on telly
when I’m singing in the shower.

José Carreras, Eminem,
Ponsel, Price and R.E.M.
Vocally I’m all of them
when I’m singing in the shower.

*** And here is the original poem***

Singing in the Shower – A Love Duet

“There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.” – Josh Groban

Through the shower door’s translucent glass
she watches the concert of a lifetime:
he’s channeling Van Halen, wiggling his ass,
and his air guitar solo will cleanse all grime.
He thinks he’s giving a master class,
never sounding better, still in his prime.
She shakes her head and laughs noiselessly,
knowing full well, this is how boys will be.

then, a few minutes later…     

She opens her mouth to the strains of lieder,
a soaring soprano in a questionable key.
Her coloratura is amazing indeed, or
at least, gives some semblance of a keening Banshee.
He watches, while shaving, as expectations exceed, or
at least, come as close to a howl as can be.
He chuckles and chortles; then gives his applause.
He yells, “Brava!  Superb, love!”  And why?  Just because.



  1. I like both, but was definitely more taken by the 2nd show of shower songs... the rock star and the opera diva together in time.
    Well done.

  2. Reflections - to be honest, I wasn't sure which I liked better, but that might be because one is new and one I'm very familiar with, meaning I'm not being overly objective about it right now, Maybe after a while, tho' - but thanks!